Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Snow days... love 'em and LOATHE 'em

Welp, no school again today.

I get the feeling that someone somewhere is testing me.... seeing how much I can actually take before I go completely nuts and have to be put in a loony bin somewhere.

This is the fourth day my kids have been home from school and pretty much stuck inside due to the THREE FEET OF SNOW we had. 

And every day I walk the line between kindness and madness.
Good mom and bad mom.
Sanity and lunacy.

It's exhausting.

My kids are tiring, yes. They really are.
But they're kids! And I have a hard time remembering that sometimes.

They're supposed to be tiring.
They're supposed to be non-stop question asking, drink needing, snack wanting, mess making,  arguing, "I'm bored" kind of people.

That's their job.
And mine are REALLY good at their job.

The thing is... I can handle a snow day or two.
In fact, I enjoy them and actually look forward to them every winter!

Hunkering down, watching the snow, drinking hot cocoa with the tiny marshmallows, making crafts, watching movies all snuggled together on the couch, playing endless games of Uno and Old Maid... those are all SO very appealing to me.

But after the second day of all that yummy togetherness... I'm all about life moving on... starting the next thing... Everybody up and at 'em and OUT. OF. THE HOUSE.

So I've been in the house with my four kids for FIVE wait... SIX days. (I'm losing track of time over here)

I'm done.
I'm cooked.
I'm waving the white flag.


My kids have exhausted me, for sure.

But I think I've exhausted myself far more than my kids ever could.

In the past six days, I've had to check and recheck myself....
Monitor my patience level... rethink my expectations level...change my tone of voice...triple check my boiling point.

Bring it all down like twelve notches(all but the patience level. That, I've had to increase like tenfold.)


My kids are just being kids...that's all.
And I'm just being an adult who is done being with kids 24/7.

I'm done with the crafts and the Legos and the fights over Wii and the constant snacks and drinks and the who hit who first.... and the "SHE started it".

They need to be back in school.
We need to be back to our regularly scheduled program because I can't take much more of this.

I'm tapped out on patience. 
I need a break from them so I can be happy to see them again.
I need them out so when they come home, I can have a REAL smile on my face... not a forced smile that's more like a grimace with my teeth clenched. (how's this for brutal honesty?)

I'm over trying to juggle my work-from-home job with my Mom job because the two don't mix.
Not for an extended period of time, at least.

I'll be on a work call and I'll turn around to a child tapping me on the shoulder mouthing,
"Can I have a snack?".
To which I wave her away frantically trying to mouth to her that I'll be with her in a minute ...
To which she responds shouting, "WHAT?!? I don't know what you're saying!!!!" ....

It's been an interesting couple of days...and I'm having a hard time keeping all of the balls in the air.

And it's not fair! 

It's not fair to them... I can't expect them to behave like adults and give me the time and quiet I need to get my work done... they're NOT adults. (I must keep this in the front of my mind at all times)

And it's not fair to me.   I'm starting to want to hide from them.... I'm starting to cringe at the sound of, "Can I have a snack???" 
And their footsteps!! Their footsteps haunt me wherever I go.. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! I'M GOING TO THE BATHROOM! I CAN'T PUT YOUR HAIR IN A PONY TAIL RIGHT THIS SECOND!!!!!

And I feel awful even typing any of this...but then I think to myself...
If I was trapped someplace with my best friend in the whole world for six days....
I'd be sick of her too! 

Everyone needs space... under the BEST circumstances.

Under THESE circumstances.? We all need a drink.

Peace, Love & RIGHT NOW

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